You’re at a networking event with a drink in your hand, surrounded by people you’ve never met before. And somewhere in the back of your mind, you know it’s coming: “So, what exactly do you do?”
Chances are your answer sounds something like: “I’m a marketing manager.” Or: “I’m a freelance coach.” A perfectly fine answer, of course. But it doesn’t tell the other person all that much. A job title tells people what you do, but usually not what drives you. And that is exactly what can lead to a much more interesting conversation.
Make a connection by sharing what drives you
A more original way to introduce yourself might start with a different question. Not: What is my job title? But: What is it that drives me in what I do?
Take the question: “What do you do?” You could answer: “I’m a speaker.” But you could also say: “I connect people.” That immediately sounds different. It tells the other person something about you and almost naturally invites a follow-up question: “Oh really? How do you do that?”
And there you have it. The beginning of a conversation.
You don’t need to come up with a complicated story. Often, one specific fact or example is enough to spark someone’s curiosity. Tell them what gives you energy, what problem you love solving, or why you started doing what you do in the first place. You’re giving the other person something to connect with.
Because people are usually not only interested in what you do. They want to know who is actually standing in front of them.
A good conversation goes both ways
That brings us to the second step. When you introduce yourself in this way, you create space to get to know the other person too.
Instead of immediately moving on to the next topic after answering the question, turn it around: “And you? What drives you in your work?”
It’s a small change, but it can make a big difference. You’re no longer just asking about someone’s job title or company. You’re asking about the person behind it. What gives them energy? What do they want to contribute? What matters to them?
You might even discover that, completely unexpectedly, someone with a very different job is driven by exactly the same things as you are.
That’s the beginning of a real connection.
In practice: 3 ways to make a real connection
Want to consciously try this at your next networking event? Try these three things.
1. Share what drives you.
When someone asks what you do, you don’t automatically have to give them your job title. Tell them what drives you in your work. “I connect people” might say much more than “I’m a speaker.” Add a specific example or fact, and you immediately give the other person something to ask about.
2. Ask what drives the other person.
Turn the question around. Not just out of politeness, but out of genuine curiosity. Ask what gives someone energy, why they do what they do, or what they care about. A networking conversation becomes much more interesting when you stop simply exchanging job titles and start exchanging stories.
3. Give the other person your full attention.
Perhaps this is the most important one. Don’t listen simply so you can say something about yourself next. Listen to genuinely hear the other person. Make eye contact, ask a follow-up question and be fully present in the conversation. That is where connection happens.
A little more light and connection
For Happy Good Talk, connection is not just a nice word. It’s a belief that underlies everything we do. Trainer and founder Marco Pesch puts it this way:
“There is an enormous force at work in this world that revolves around fear, division, polarisation and hatred. At the same time, there is another force at work. One of light, love and connection. With everything I do, I want to contribute to that second force.”
It may sound like a big idea when you compare it to a simple networking event. But that is exactly where it starts. With the way you introduce yourself to someone. With the question you ask next. With the attention you give to their answer.
So the next time someone asks, “So, what exactly do you do?”, don’t see it only as a question about your job. See it as an invitation to show something of who you are.
Share what drives you. Ask what drives the other person. And really listen to the answer.
Because who knows? One simple question might lead to something much more meaningful than a networking conversation: a real connection.